Chapter 2
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
As a crossdresser a lot of my questions got answered when I met someone that helped me a great deal. They gave me guidance and advice on a lot of the concerns that I had which ultimately made me decide who I really wanted to be without the contempt and resentment that goes with being someone that is a little bit different. In order to explain this I need to start from the beginning.
I suppose I started to cross dress when I was little as I used to walk around the house wearing my mothers boots. To get away with wearing them I used to tie an old sheet around my neck for a cape and pretend I was a super hero. I guess by being young and innocent back then I didn't really know what it meant except for the fact that I enjoyed it. In my teens these feelings did not go away and I wanted to dress up in more women's clothing. This proved difficult when I was living in a large family making it impossible to sneak something on from my sisters wardrobe without being caught.
In my teens these feelings did not go away and I wanted to dress up in more women's clothing.- Zoe
Luckily in my late teens I was happy when I got my own place to live in so that I could cross-dress in private. I ordered some lingerie, a pair of court shoes and a cute black dress through a mail order company. I had decided what I wanted well before I moved into my place and wrote the items down on a peace of paper in a secret code so that if it was found no one would understand what it meant except from me. I remember having butterflies each time I saw a delivery van waiting for my items to arrive and then being disappointed when they did arrive as the delivery man came when I was at work and by the time I got home the parcel office was closed. I had to wait just one more day.
From that day onwards I felt really good about myself when I was cross dressing and felt as though I was living in a world with no rules and regulations by being able to do what I wanted within the confines of my home (well within reason of course). It was a funny feeling back then because when I was at work I would look at what all of the females were wearing and start wishing that I had those shoes or thinking 'that skirt would look good on me'. I would comment on how they looked, trying to make out at though I was taking an interest in them and not what they had dressed in.
Even though I felt good whilst I was dressed up in ladies clothing I started to feel guilty as I knew that it wasn't normal especially when I started to date a few girls who would have dumped me as quick as anything if they knew my little secret. My emotions were all over the place and I needed to get them resolved. Click to read chapter 3
